Words

I'm anxious Lord.
I'm feeling something that words can't describe.
Heavy, burdened.
And I just wish to share this with someone else.
Gracious Lord, grant me Your grace.

Daily Devotion - Nov 1

Hi, it's been awhile since I last wrote.

We've entered a new month, so I am making a commitment to write down my devotional thoughts daily (if possible). The purpose is to track my devotion and to see my spiritual journey throughout November. So let's see where this goes :)


Bible Verse:

Psalm 42:11
Why my soul are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.


Thought:

These months, there were days that surely felt like a roller-coaster-kind of days. Each of those devastating moment surely had me down, to the point where everything felt like worthless. I kept wondering why all these happened, and the answer is not yet there. I am downcast, I am disturbed.

Yet, when I read this verse, I am drawn to the word "Savior" and "God". Through the darkness the psalmist went, he still said that God was His Savior. Savior -- the one who saves. So why am I downcast if I have someone who surely saves me? And it goes to "God". God -- the powerful being who we worship. This God is in control. So why am I disturbed when I have the Great One who is in control?

You see, the problem all along is not the circumstance I am dealing with. It is true that the circumstance drains me, but I should not fear or feel downcast. I can't change the situation I'm in, and if God allows it to happen, there must be something meaningful in it that I can learn, somewhat to glorify Him. I can't see it right now. But dear Lord please grant me the faith to stand firm and believe that You are indeed good all the time, and I can put my trust in You. Show me the grace of Your deeds and sovereignty in all things happening around me, so that I could firmly say: you are my Savior and my God.

The World is Sinking

To find packed stories of negativity in a world that judges people for being negative.

To find diminished values in a person who loves to boast about positive values.

Isn't it an irony?

The world's sinking deep and deeper, no matter how strong people try to hold up.

I've Lived Long Enough

I've lived long enough
To understand the melody of cuckoo's gratitude
To witness the warmth of cloud's magnitude

I've lived long enough
To realize the tearful howls of wolves apart
To embrace the broken shreds of heart

I've lived long enough
Just enough
.
.
.
To know my heartbreak is one step away.

Who?

Nothing.

No one.

None.

I should just go back to where I used to be.

Farewell.

A Thought for Myself

I've been going quite a weird experience this week. I never consider myself a "feeling" type of girl, thus having people come to me and share their inner struggle was alien for me. And this week, I've encountered 2 stories at least -- stories I've never really experienced myself and I have no clue of what to say. I can't sugarcoat things, nor can I be sure of my solutions. I don't even trust myself that I could be one sort of help to these people, or lessen their difficulties at the least. But, funny is they keep coming back to me. Still can't figure out why or what to do. Lord, help me.

Power Bank

I am living behind the scene, as the person available to those who need it.
Being an invisible support system is apparently not glamorous, exhausting, yet useful.
Just like a power bank.