All my life waiting has been one action that I'm struggling with. Waiting for a person who comes late is what I despise the most. Waiting for a decision always leaves me grumpy. I was never a patient person but apparently God is molding me to be more patient like He is. This year I experienced so many events that required me to wait including the process of finding a summer internship. The process was not easy for me. I applied at 5-6 companies in Indo and in the States. Usually it takes less than a week to get a reply from the recruiter especially in Indo because I have some "network" inside. This time, though, it was mentally challenging. No e-mails, no calls, nothing. There were times that I questioned God again and again why. I was even shocked and frustrated when my friend got an internship in less than a month. The process was so smooth for her, but not for me. Everybody remained silent, so did God. There were encouragements from my sisters but this heavy feeling did not go.
One month before I went back to Indo, I received news from my mom stating that my father had prostate cancer. Wait a minute. Did I hear wrong? My father was one of the healthiest men that I know. Was my mom kidding or was the result wrong? Nope, everything was like what she said. So, my parents went to Singapore for consultation to several doctors. Some suggested robotic surgery, some suggested radiation. Funny my mom asked me which doctor we should have further contact with. She offered me three names and asked me to look them up in the Web. Half-heartedly, I saw their pictures and found an article by one of the doctors. The findings helped me decide on a doctor in NUH. I did not push them to choose this doctor, I just felt that he was reliable. Funny that they chose him in the end.
So after some consultations and medical investigations, it turned out the prostate cancer was on level 7/10. So when I came back to Indo, I stopped looking for internship and I accompanied my parents to Singapore for further action. The best thing to do according to the doctor was radical surgery because he was not sure whether the prostate had spread or not. We agreed on the surgery and he was scheduled to have the surgery on July 16th because there would be a visiting professor coming as well.
Two weeks before the surgery, came a phone call from the hospital saying that the visiting professor would not be able to have the surgery on the 16th, so we had to delay it to the 18th. This decision was hard because we did not want to change the date since we had bought tickets. I convinced them that my father's best condition was much more important than the tickets.
We prepared ourselves to be in Singapore for more than 2 weeks for the surgery+recovery but thanks be to God that the surgery + recovery time was faster than we predicted. It was funny when the doctor came after the surgery and explained to us that he had been ill for the past week and he just recovered.
Looking at this experience, I feel that God is in action. It's better that I do not have internship so I can be with my parents. It's better to have the surgery that month because the visiting professor comes. It's better that the surgery was on the 18th because then the doctor would not be sick. As you can see, God demands us to wait faithfully. I wanted my plan to work but His plan has always been better. We often push our ways to get what we want but God has a Master plan for our life. So when you strive too hard and become tired, it is not because God has abandoned you. It is because you do not want to wait when God tells you to wait.
Now my father is still recovering with catheter inside the body. The balloon is stuck inside the bladder and it cannot be pulled out or in at all. I believe God allows this to happen for a good reason. I am not going to frustrate myself with what I should do, rather I will use my energy for waiting and praying. I have faith that God will use this problem for His Glory only. =)
